What is a friend?

@goldenskye asked this question tonight on Twitter and I think that it is an intriguing one. I find it particularly interesting given my relationship with @goldenskye in particular…  We have corresponded on Twitter on multiple occasions about different topics, mostly related to health, although she has also defended my writing skills from the likes of @markhawker from time to time. ;)  The kicker to me is that we live on different continents and have a low probability of ever actually meeting one another in person.

Is @goldenskye my friend? Is she not my friend?

What about @robmay and @dgregoire who I also met through Twitter and actually met in person for an hour each over the past two weeks? We all live in the same city and can sit across a table from one another to have a physical conversation. Are they both now my friends?  Are they not my friends?

Wikipedia offers up this definition for the term friendship:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis.

I think that leads us to some interesting social questions. Can people who have never met one another exhibit co-operative and supportive behavior online? Yes. Virtual work teams, for example, are able to work together without actually meeting in person. "I know from experience dude…"

But does close physical proximity lead to an enhanced friendship experience? And if it does, will it always?

Also, at what point in time is it socially acceptable for me to request supportive behavior from a new found friend? Can I hit up @goldenskye, @robmay, or @dgregoire for $20 now that we have behaved in a cooperative manner by following each other on Twitter. Or can I only hit up @robmay and @dgregoire for the money because I’ve met them in person?

Can I ask any of them for a job? Can they vouch for me? Should the thought even cross my mind?

I understand that there are no one size fits all ground rules. I understand that everybody is different and that every situation is different, that its all about context, and that my mileage may vary… etc. But online friending still denotes some assemblence of an implied relationship that can easily be misconstrued by one or both parties.

Should there be some sort of social media etiquette so that individuals don’t commit feux pauxs and inadvertently ostracize themselves from the people that they want to meet and establish relationships with?

Would love to read what you think this friend etiquette would look like… provided that you see value in it at all.

Photo by: glennharper