On Guilty Pleasures and Growth

What are your guilty pleasures, and when was the last time you indulged in one? I indulged in one of my guilty pleasures the other night and it was great experience.

Here are the details:

Backstory

I am admittingly late to the blogging game, as I only started blogging on LouisvillePM in July of 2008 and here in 2009. When I returned from living overseas in 2001, the social internets of my world were made up of a couple message boards. One for the car I drove, one for the NBA team I loved, and one for the local underground dance music scene I was into… Things were somewhat anonymous back then, and what I really enjoyed about those experiences were the arguments.

The sarcasm and oneupsmanship displayed on message boards is hands down, second to none.

Where I grew up, having a quick wit was a necessity that I learned to enjoy. Therefore, the fact that people I didn’t know were attempting to be smarter, funnier, or more sarcastic than me on the boards turned into hours researching topics, establishing positions, and making snarky counter arguments on points that, in retrospect, didn’t really matter. However, they did make for a thriving community.

This obsession morphed into a guilty pleasure that I had to stow away because it was taking up too much of my time. Time that I could waste here instead, right? What I had forgotten about, over the past few years, is the skill that getting into online arguments bestowed on me. The ability to rapidly pick a side and defend it with logic and proof is transferable into the real world. Even if it was developed in an unorthodox and potentially lame way…

Two things I learned during my time on the message boards were to not make things personal and to not take things personal. I can disagree with your ideas from here to last Wednesday, but I can’t call YOU names. If you insult ME, I will not get mad because after all… we are arguing on the internet which is something that people shouldn’t be allowed to get mad about.

Guilty Pleasures and Growth

Justin Kownacki has been on a totally entertaining tirade lately about being a better audience. About pushing each other. About making the social web better. I’ve appreciated his edge since I discovered his blog, but after reading these posts his words hit me. Being cool to one another in the blogosphere is expected. Coming on to somebody’s personal blog and disagreeing with them is almost unheard of these days… it could even get you labeled as a troll. (Which would be a fate worse than death for some.)

However, that is what Justin is asking us to do, because disagreement leads to both individual and group growth. I then realized this meant that I had to engage in a disagreement with him. Not in some kind of macho, there can be only one type of way. And not just for the sake of disagreement, either. I had to disagree because I had a disagreement, and because I owe it to him to push him in hopes that he would push me in return, and on… until some kind of conclusion.

The fun part is that I’ve spent the last few months reading through his responses to people who disagree with him on his blog. That led me to believe that I would be accosted with sarcasm upon any disagreement I displayed. The thought of this excited me, however, because it meant that I would be able to jump back into an intellectually sarcastic mosh pit of growth with somebody who’s opinion and style I respect.

I wasn’t disappointed. And what I learned about Justin through our exchange is that he seems to subscribe to the same two principles I learned on internet message boards: don’t make it personal and don’t take it personal.

After experiencing this with Justin, I agree that the social internet will only be able to grow and thrive is if WE are able to actually disagree with one another, on each other’s blogs or anywhere else, without getting our feelings hurt… These thoughts, however, will need to be explored in other posts.

Right now, I’m still giddy about the “fight” I was just in with Justin. And hope that we can continue to verbally joust with one another as the opportunities present themselves. We’ll both be better for it.