Totally understand the feeling out process with commenters, I mean I can imagine anyway, ;) and think that things are different with message boards because they're a public space. Whereas a personal blog is an individual's personal space. As obvious as that sounds, I had never really given it much thought until now.

The idea that you can't slap a man in the face in his own house seems to ring true online, but isn't that what we're all inviting by putting ideas out there? And could it really be all that bad? (I'm not implying either way, seriously asking)

If we were to not care about the next person's intentions, in our house, and only use it as a platform to selfishly learn and grow from people we interact with there, would that be a better use of the medium? Do I need to get regular comments and then ask that question again? ;)

* By the way, the Twolves have a couple message boards. I couldn't find the old one I spent so much time on so I linked to the one I just read and don't post on these days. The best part about them both is how heated things can get between fans of the same “only had one magical Western Conference Finals run in 20 years of existence” team. Definitely easy to get sucked in when you're a rabid fan though…

I wouldn't call our exchange a “fight,” since we're familiar enough with each other's blogging and commenting habits that I can tell when you're stirring up debate and when you're legitimately opposed to an idea. (I'm not sure I've actually seen much example of the latter on my blog, since we seem to agree on the basics in most discussions.)

But you've touched on a vast array of complications here. For example:

* Do I react differently when someone I'm familiar with disagrees with me vs. someone I've never met? Absolutely. Absent of context, it's harder to tell whether a comment is an invitation to a debate vs. an argument.

* Should we as authors be less defensive about our ideas, or take our critiques less personally? Probably. But since social media muddies the lines that separate person / idea / brand, it becomes harder to do that separating ourselves, and EVERYTHING ends up feeling personal.

* The Timberwolves have a message board?

* Just like I can't always be sure about a commenter's intentions, they can't always be sure of my own. I'm sarcastic by default, since I had to be quick-witted in order to survive the carnage of gradeschool. But sarcasm doesn't always translate in text, and people who don't know me well or who just read my blog once may not be able to tell if I'm being angry or sarcastic, either in posts or in responses back to them.

In the end, I do wholly advocate pushback and debate. It encourages both sides to continually re-evaluate their own beliefs and actions, and it creates that “conversation” element which is generally missing from an increasingly proclamation-heavy medium.

Let's just be conscious of our inability to accurately process everyone's intentions at all times, or else we're ALL going to be seen as trolls.